


Maedhros goes on a date

by nelyonelyo



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drug Use, Emotional Trauma, F/M, Family Dynamics, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-16 11:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nelyonelyo/pseuds/nelyonelyo
Summary: Feanor arranges for his eldest son to go on a date with a prospective suitor. Maedhros isn't too keen on the idea.





	1. Chapter 1

Maedhros sat at his desk, leaned over a pile of parchment, parsing through the pages.

There was a knock upon the door, then his father’s voice. “Nelyafinwe, open the door. I told you not to lock it.”

Maedhros sighed silently to himself, departed from the desk, and opened the door.

Feanor handed him a pile of black silk. “Don’t forget the date you have tonight with that girl, Haldalisse. She’s the daughter of one of my associates. You remember Teleptwe? The man who owns the silver mine? Very wealthy fellow, very proper. The girl would be a fine addition to our family. Good connections. She’s pretty, all tall and slim like you are. You’ll like her. Wear these clothes, I purchased them a few days ago so you’ll finally wear something that looks decent on you. You’re so awful at dressing yourself, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were color blind. But even you can’t mess up with black. Undress. Put them on. Maybe a little eye-coal too. Make yourself look presentable, will you? We didn’t name you _Maitimo_ for nothing. I know you’re a beautiful young man, so look like it, please. Your beauty is one of the few things you have, and I expect you to use it to the fullest. Comb your hair. What is this?” Feanor reached out his hand, grabbed a strand of Maedhros’s hair, then let it go. “Did you even brush it this morning? When was the last time you washed it? It’s unbraided, too. Braid it, will you? We don’t want young Halda thinking you’re unkempt. I trust you’ll braid it correctly. Do _not_ mess this up. Do you need me to send a servant in to make sure you know how to arrange yourself?”

“No, I’m quite sure I can dress myself.”

“Really? Because you don’t look like it. What are you even wearing now? Is that cotton? At _this_ hour of the day?”

“These are my sleeping clothes.”

“Why are you still wearing your sleeping clothes?”

“I’ve been studying all morning.”

“What on earth could you be studying?”

“Architecture.”

“You’re not going to be an architect. You’re far too horrible at mathematics.” Feanor quickly made his way over to the desk and gathered up the pile of papers. “You do _not_ need these. No. Now, get ready. I’ll come back to collect you in an hour.” Feanor left the room, closing the door tightly shut behind him.

Maedhros held up the black robe, examining it. It was narrow, with half-length sleeves and some sort of ornate floral pattern embroidered across it in sliver-black thread. Subtle, but lovely. A line of buttons ran up the entire front. He shrugged off his sleeping clothes, depositing them carelessly upon the floor, and pulled the new black robe over his head. It was a tight fit, clinging closely to his body, but was long enough to reach the ground in spite of his excessive height. For that, he was grateful.

He made his way across the room to his dresser and the mirror mounted above it. Looking at his reflection, he could see why his father was so upset at the state of his hair. He brushed it until it was smooth, then began to braid it, two braids running along the side of his head that converged into one at the back. Satisfied with this, he took out a small dish of charcoal mixture and applied it to his eyelids, darkening them to match his new tunic.

Satisfied with his appearance, he returned to his desk and took out a second stack of papers he had stored in a drawer below. He began to study these. Perhaps his father was right, that mathematics and the like were a challenge to him, but he was determined to find a career path other than simply being a husband and child of nobility.

What must have been an hour later, Feanor returned, not bothering to knock this time and simply entering the door. Maedhros had forgotten to lock it, and thus has to quickly grab his papers in an attempt to hide them. Unfortunately, he was not swift enough, and Feanor was able to stop him and seize them.

“I told you to stop bothering with these. You’re really not smart enough for that.”

“I might be smart enough.”

“If you were smart enough to pursue architecture, then why did you fail out of boarding school, hmm?”

“I didn’t fail out. I did all my work and did well on my exams. The teachers just-“

“You failed. Don’t make excuses. Now, stand. Let me see if you dressed yourself properly.”

Maedhros stood up, and spun himself slowly in a circle to allow his father to observe his completed outfit, hair, and makeup.

“Good.” Feanor nodded. “You did well. That will suffice.” He walked over to the desk chair and collapsed himself down onto it, then proceeded to rub his forehead and sigh. “Nelyo, please, don’t mess this one up. You _must_ find a wife. You’re 153 years old already. Your brother Kanafinwe is only 94 years old, and he’s got both a wife and a job. He’s booked at music events on the nightly! He’s _useful_. He’s trying to for a baby right now, and he’s going to continue the family line. Even little Tyelkormo, at 43 years old, is already a lady’s man. Do you know how _embarrassing_ it is for me, to have my eldest son unpartnered and unsuccessful?”

“I’m aware I disappoint you.”

Feanor signed louder. “You don’t _disappoint_ me, Nelyo, you know I love you. I simply want the _best_ for you, I want you to live the life an eldest son ought to be living. You do nothing! You just sit at home all day, you sleep, you study frivolous pursuits, you-“

“I help take care of Kanafinwe and Tyelkormo. I run the household while you and mother are busy.”

“Don’t you dare cut me off while I’m talking to you. And that’s servant’s work. Let the servants take care of it. You need to find a skillset and work on it. But I look at you, and I see now talent. I invested so much money into forging classes, and what fruit came of that? Tell me, Nelyo, how did you do at the forging classes?”

“I failed them,” Maedhros admitted quietly.

“You failed them! Now, I was thinking, I believe we can both agree that the only innate talent you posses is your beauty. You can use this to find a wife, and produce children to continue my family line, or, you could use it to seek employment. I know the halls of the valar are always looking to hire beautiful elves as courtesans for their maiar. You wouldn’t have to know mathematics to qualify for that. I’m considering offering you to that position. You’d do well, and working for the valar would be an honorable enough position for a prince of your stature. Would you like that?”

“No.”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

Maedhros looked to the ground. “No,” he said softly. “No, I don’t.”

“Good. Well then, it’s one or the other. Find a wife already or go work for the valar.” Feanor reached out a hand, and brushed a loose strand of hair out of Maedhros’s face. “I love you. You know that. I simply want the best for you and the family. You understand?”

“Yes father.”

Feanor smiled and patted Maedhros’s head. “Perfect. I’ll be sending your date up to your room in a few minutes. She’s arrived downstairs.”

“It’s to be held in my room?”

“Yes. I thought I would expedite the process. If I had sent you two to a restaurant, wouldn’t you have both headed back to your room anyways?”

“No!”

“Well, why not? I thought I told you to use your beauty to ensure you snag this one? I need you to create heirs. As fast as possible.”

“But on the first date?”

“You can practice on the first date! Introduce her to your body!”

“Father.”

“What! It’s a good idea!”

“Please leave my room.”

“I own this house, I can be in whatever room I please.”

Maedhros walked over to his bed and let himself collapse onto it, face down.

“Don’t ignore me, Nelyo!”

Maedhros grunted but gave no other response. Feanor, exasperated, left the room.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

Maedhros, still face down on his bed, mumbled, “Come in.” He sat up to see what visitor he had to endure.

In walked a girl, with long, silky, ink-black hair, unbraided. She wore a red chiffon gown that stopped at her knees. She was taller than most girls he had met.

“You must be Maitimo,” she smiled.

Maedhros forced his mouth to form a semi-awkward smile in return. “Yes, that’s me. You can call me Nelyo, though, I’d prefer it.”

“But Maitimo is such a lovely name!” she argued.

“Please. It’s Nelyo.”

“Oh aren’t _you_ bossy.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just the name I prefer.”

“Alright, _Nelyo_.”

“I assume you are Miss Haldalisse?”

“You bet I am!” She sat down on the bed next to him, and leaned her head on his shoulder. “You’re far more handsome than I imagined you would be.”

“Thanks?”

“We’re going to get married and I’m going to be a princess!”

“No, I don’t think we’re going to get married.”

“Why not!” she demanded. “Is there something wrong with me? Do you not want to get married?”

“Halda, I’m sure you’re a very nice girl, but I’ve only just met you. I can’t decide to marry someone after just meeting them.”

“Well, _I’m_ sure that I want to marry you. I want you.”

“How can you be sure that you want to marry me? You don’t even know me.”

“Fine! Oh, we can ask questions to get to know each other!” She grinned. “I’ll go first. Are you a virgin?”

“Goodness no.”

“When did you lose your virginity? And to who?”

“Isn’t that a personal question?”

“If I’m going to get married to you, I deserve to know these things.”

“I was 21. I lost it to one of my boarding school professors.”

“Was she hot?”

“I was 21,” he said with disgust, “It doesn’t matter if she was hot.”

“It’s okay if you’re a bit of a slut. I like guys with experience.”

“I’m not a slut.”

“Really?” she tilted her head. “You look like one.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“When’s the last time you had sex, if you’re not a slut?”

“Last week,” Maedhros admitted. “I had a date.”

“I suppose my assumption was right, then!”

“I don’t like this conversation.”

Haldalisse reached a hand out and began to stroke Maedhros’s chest. “Then you don’t need to talk.”

Maedhros grabbed her hand and removed it from his body. “Don’t touch me.”

“Why not? We’re going to get married. I’ll touch you sooner or later. Your father told me you wanted to see me in your bedroom. Why would you request that if you didn’t want to engage in bedroom activities?”

“I _didn’t_ request that.”

“You don’t need to lie, darling.”

“Please don’t call me darling.” Maedhros scooted himself away from her, placing a foot or two of distance between them. He looked down at his hands, then looked back at her. “I suppose, maybe, you can. My father says I must marry, sooner or later. Your father owns the silver mine, so a partnership between our families would be mutually profitable. It would be worthwhile for me to at least date you and give you a change. I don’t, I, well, I don’t,” he stumbled on his words, “I don’t want the alternative of being unmarried, disappointing my family, or having to work in the halls of the Valar. I don’t want that.”

“Splendid!” she declared. She moved herself over in the bed to be again directly by his side. “Kiss me, why don’t you?”

“Kiss you?”

“You’re fucking gorgeous. I want you. That’s why I’m here. I want you to kiss me.”

Maedhros leaned over and deposited a light kiss upon her cheek.  

“On the lips, you fool.”

“On the-“

She grabbed his face with both hands and stole a kiss from his lips. “Like that.” She grinned, and ran her hand across his thigh. “Now, take off that robe, will you? I want to see what you look like underneath.”

“I don’t really want to do that.”

 “I thought you wanted to date me? I thought you said a partnership would be beneficial? You don’t want to upset your family, or my family, right? My dad would be really upset if you upset me. I think your dad would hate if his entire supply of silver was cut off. I don’t think you want to do that. So, how about we have a good time instead? I think it’s what both of us want. That’s what you want, right? Isn’t it?”

“That’s what I want,” Maedhros said in a monotone voice.

She pushed him back flat against the bed and began undoing the buttons of his robe. “Good. You really are beautiful. I think I’ll love you. I’ll be a good wife.”

Maedhros stared at the ceiling. “That’s what I want,” he repeated. A tear rolled down his cheek.

 

 

 


	2. The next morning

Maedhros awoke in his bed, with Haldalisse sleeping soundly besides him. His body was slightly sore from the previous nights activities, but not much. He got out of bed, careful to not wake her, and put on a pair of sleeping clothes, disgusted with his nakedness. He spotted his black robe from before, tossed aside on the floor, and picked it up. The material was fine, but he hated the outfit, and the day associated with it. He knew his father would be mad, but he had to dispose of it.

He tossed it into his fireplace, still softly lit by flame, and watched it succumb to ashes. He kneeled by the fire and felt the heat on his face, closed his eyes, and imagined it melting him.

A log in the fire cracked and fell, making a loud popping noise. It woke Haldalisse.

“Darling?” came her sleepy voice, as she sat up. “What are you doing over there? Come back to bed!”

Maedhros did not look away from the fire.

She got out of bed, her naked form illuminated dimly by the firelight, and asked her question again. “What are you doing?” She sat herself down behind him and draped her arms over his shoulders, clutching his chest. “Come back to bed,” she said again, this time in a softer voice. “The sun hasn’t risen yet and I’m not quite done with you.” She traces her finger across his chest, gently.

He reached for her hands and quickly removed them from his body. “Don’t touch me, please.”

She put her hands back onto him. “Why not? You enjoyed it last night.”

“I didn’t. I didn’t.”

“What do you mean, darling?”

“Don’t call me darling.”

“What?”

Maedhros paused for a moment. “Do you ever wish you could just place yourself in the fire and burn into nothing? Not kill yourself, just become nothing. Become smoke and ash, maybe, but that’s close enough to nothing. Just abandon the world, and fly off as smoke, yeah, you ever think that would be nice?”

“No, not at all.”

“Must just be me then. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“So,” she asked in a perky voice, “back to bed now, then?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Well why not! Are you tired? We can always wait until tonight to get back to things.”

“I don’t think I ever want to.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Her face twisted with alarm and concern. “Was I not good enough? Do you not think I’d make a fitting wife? I would! I’d make the perfect wife for you!” She pulled herself against him in an embrace. “I swear it! I can read! I can do oral! I’m tall like you are! I’m beautiful! Do you not think I’m beautiful? Why am I not good enough for you?” she demanded to know.

Maedhros shrugged off her embrace and turned around to face her. “You’re a fine girl, Halda, and I’m sure you’d make a fine wife. Just not for me. Or, maybe, the problem is that I wouldn’t make a fine husband. I just don’t love you. I don’t want to marry you. There’s nothing wrong with you. I think it’s just that there’s something wrong with me. I really wanted to love you. I wanted to make you happy and to make my father happy. But I just don’t love you. I tried. I really did. I just don’t love…this.”

She slapped him across the face. Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to be felt, and enough to leave a slight red mark. Tears began to well in her eyes. “You _used_ me! You used me for sex!”

“I assure you, I didn’t. That was fully your idea, not mine. I didn’t even enjoy it. I didn’t even want it.”

She began to cry. “I was going to marry you! My father said I could marry you!”

“Yes, but _I_ don’t want to marry you, don’t you see?”

“My father said I could!”

“Your father promised things he couldn’t guarantee.”

Her face began to redden with her sobs. “My father will be furious! He’ll cut off the silver trade with your father! This is all your fault! Why won’t you love me? What’s _wrong_ with you?”

“I don’t know. I…wish I knew. This has happened before. With other girls. It’s not you, it’s me, I promise. My father, he keeps setting me up on dates, hoping I’ll find one to finally marry, but-“

“How many other girls!” she demanded.

“What?” Maedhros asked.

“You heard me! You fucking slut!” she yelled. “You keep doing this to girls? Again and again? You _monster_! She threw out her hand again, attempting for a second slap, but he caught it mid-air, stopping it.

“Please don’t call me a monster. I’m just doing what my father asks of me.”

“If you were _really_ doing what he asked of you, you would have married one of us by now. But you don’t. You just keep using these girls.”

“Are you sure it’s not the other way around?” he retorted. “I don’t ask to meet any of the girls. It’s them that want a shot at _me_. I’m not forcing any of them to come to my room. I don’t _want_ any of them in my room.”

“You’re a freak. You don’t deserve any of us, anyways.”

“Perhaps that’s true. I’m sorry, Haldalisse, and I hope you have better luck with men in the future.”

She spat on the ground by his feet. “I will.” She stood up, gathered her clothes off the floor, and left.

Maedhros sat on the floor still, and watched the fire until the remnants of his black robe was entirely burned. He then proceeded to stand, exit his room, and descend the stairs to the kitchen.

To his surprise, the candelabra on the table was already lit, and by it sat his young brother Celegorm.

“Tyelko,” he asked, tilting his head slightly, “why are you up so early?”

“Hungry for milk.” Celegorm stated.

“For milk, eh? Any left?”

Celegorm nodded quickly at a jar on the counter, then resuming sipping the milk from his cup.

Maedhros poured himself a cup of it, then sat at the table next to his brother.

“Tyelko?” he asked. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“Yeah, stupid,” Celegorm responded, “you’re ugly and annoying and, uh, my dog doesn’t like you because you’re stupid.”

“You said stupid twice.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes, I’m afraid you did.”

“No, I _didn’t!_ ” Celegorm shouted.

“Fine, you didn’t, whatever.” Maedhros sipped from his milk cup. “This isn’t milk, this is heavy cream.”

“Yeah well what are _you_ gonna do about it!”

“Nothing I suppose. Did you know it was heavy cream?”

“Yeah! So what if I prefer cream! You got a problem with that?”

Maedhros sighed, then smiled slightly. “No, Tyelko, I have no personal issue against you drinking heavy cream before sunrise. You may do as you please.”

“Good, because I’m not going to stop!” Celegorm proceed to chug his cup of cream. He placed the cup down, then wiped his mouth with his sleeve and grinned. “I can drink faster than you.”

“I’m sure you can.”

“How’d you date go? Dad said you had a date. Did you kiss her?”

“I did, yes.”

“That’s _gross_ ,” Celegorm insisted. “You know girls have cooties, right? You can get that from kissing. You better not kiss any more girls.”

Maedhros laughed slightly. “Would you prefer I kiss men? Do they have cooties too?”

Celegorm pondered this for a moment. “Men have frogs.”

“Men have…frogs?”

“Yeah, I was practicing archery with my friend Apairon yesterday and he walked over to me and he had a frog in his pocket the whole time. I was really jealous so I stole the frog. It’s in my room right now. I bet you don’t have a frog in your room.”

“You’re quite right on that one, Tyelko, I most certainly do not have a frog in my room.”

Celegorm looked at Maedhros and noticed the red mark on the side on his cheek. “What happened to your face?”

“I fell and hit my head.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Fine. I was slapped. It’s not a big deal, the mark will fade by daybreak.”

“Who hit you!” Celegorm demanded to know. “I’ll shoot them! I’m really good at archery! Orome said I can be one of his hunters some day because I’m really good.”

Maedhros smiled gently. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. They’re gone now.”

“If they hurt you again I’ll shoot them okay.”

“They’re not going to hurt me again.”

“Good. Because I’d shoot them.”

“I think I understand that bit. Thank you.”

“Did you know I’m getting really good at archery?”

“I heard, yes.”

Celegorm reached across the table and grabbed Maedhros’s cup of cream, then proceeded to chug it. He pushed out his chair, stood up, then declared, “I’m bored. I’m going outside now.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later.”

Celegorm sprinted off down the hall.

Maedhros exhaled slowly, then too stood up to return to his room. He desired to sleep for as long as possible.


	3. Contribute to the family

Maedhros was fast asleep, cuddled up under a mound of blankets in his bed, when a knock rang through the room. Then another knock. And another, louder knock.

“Nelyafinwe!” shouted Feanor’s firm voice. “Get your ass out of bed right now. And I _told_ you not to lock the door!” Another knock. “Nelyafinwe Maitimo you better open this damned door!”

Maedhros pouted to himself, but slinked out of bed to the door and unlocked it.

Feanor immediately slammed the door open. “Sit down,” he commanded. Maedhros took a seat at his desk, and Feanor stood besides him. “How did you date go last night?”

“Well.”

“If it went _well_ , they _why_ did I wake up to a messenger at my doorstep telling me I’ve been cut off from all silver trade? Huh? Tell me how the fuck it went well if I got that message from her father.”

“I told the truth. It went well. We talked, and I slept with her, as were her wishes.”

“You’re not telling the whole truth, Nelyafinwe. Speak the truth before I do something rash.”

“Fine! I told her I didn’t love her! I didn’t really want to sleep with her and I didn’t really love her, so I told her so! She didn’t like that but it was the truth.”

Feanor sighed loudly. “Nelyo, can’t you get things right for me _one time_? Just once? Do what I ask of you? I put a lot on the line here.”

“You sold my body as a bargaining chip to get better trade deals on silver. I’m sorry I’m a person and not an object! I’m sorry I have emotions!”

“Your emotions get in the way of doing what’s right. And don’t you dare speak to me that way. Of course I see you as a person. But you’re also my son, and as a member of my family, you must do what’s right for the family. All of us have to make sacrifices. Did you honestly think life would be some sort of fantasy world where you get to chance your whimsical desires and never suffer a day in your life? I don’t _care_ whether you wanted to sleep with her or not. She wanted you, and her father wanted her to be happy, and I wanted her to be happy, so you should have done all in your power to make her happy! It’s a very simple task, Nelyafinwe! I know you’re not the smartest, but even you should be able to understand that.”

“I’m not dumb. Of course I understand what you want from me. But I just can’t do it. I just didn’t love her, and I can’t devote myself to someone I don’t love.”

“Why not?”

“I guess I’m the romantic sort. I’m holding out for a soulmate, I guess? Someone who can make me happy and love me and treat me like a person. Someone who won’t touch me if I don’t want to be touched. Someone who won’t ever hit me. Someone who can laugh with me and hold me when I need to be held. I want to cuddle! I want someone who will cuddle me when I’m cold! I want someone who doesn’t care what I look like, someone who values the soul that’s inside my body, what makes me, well, me! I want to be someone’s beloved husband, not just someone’s doll. I want to be someone’s best friend.”

“I’ve known you all your life, and I can guarantee you that that will never happen. Do you honestly think someone could love you that much? Do you honestly think you _deserve_ to be loved that much? You’d be lucky to find _any_ wife. You’re just not that good. You sleep too much, you whine and moan all the time, you’re incredibly stupid, you’re depressing to be around, you’re selfish, do I need to go on? You’re annoying. It takes all my willpower not to slap you. You want a best friend? You don’t have _any_ friends. Do you ever wonder why that is? Do you wonder why no one likes you? You want someone to value your personality, but your personality is utter rubbish. If you were a good enough child, I wouldn’t have bothered to go make more after you. Eru, I just can’t stand your attitude.”

“Thanks dad.”

“Do you have any idea what a waste you are? We’ve had to deal with you for hundreds of years, spending money feeding and clothing you, providing you a living space, dealing with you. And in response you contribute nothing to this family. Nothing! The only value you _have_ is your beauty, and I’ve been _trying_ to set up ways where you can use that, but you refuse to cooperate!”

“I try to cooperate. I really try. I do. I try.” Maedhros said quietly. “I try.”

“Not hard enough, you don’t!”

Maedhros stood up. “I’ve tried my whole life to please you!” he shouted. “My whole life! And none of that is good enough for you?” None of it?”

“Frankly, no.”

Maedhros sat back down and put his head down on the desk. He began to cry. Feanor ignored this.

“I’ve decided to volunteer you to work for the valar. The court of Manwe should be a decent place for you. As I’ve said before, they’re always looking for new courtesans. You’re very pretty, I’m sure you’d rise to the top fast. There, you could levy some influence amount the maiar and benefit our family. You’d also be provided with a room of your own, I think, and of course food and water. Probably wine, too. I think it’s the logical next step, don’t you? You can finally contribute to the family while also being off our hands. You proved your worthlessness as a potential husband, since you claim you can’t love the women I give to you. Well! In this job, there’s no love involved at all, so you need not concern yourself. Don’t you see, Nelyo? This is a perfect fit for you. I’ve decided this already and spoken to your mother about how I got you a job among the ainur. She approved of that. I expect you to be gone within the week.”

Maedhros began to cry harder.

“Oh, stop that. You’ll stain your nice wooden desk.”


	4. Time with the maiar

Starlight peered through the windows and landed upon Maedhros’s skin and he laid in bed. He wore only jewelry upon his body, a golden necklace, bracelets, rings. The remained of his body was exposed to the air and to the gaze of the maia who rested alongside him in bed. That jewelry was all he ever wore these days.

Maedhros was tired, but happy. He had been in the service of the maiar for a few months now, and while he wasn’t thrilled to be away from his family, he was at least treated well enough. The food provided was luxurious and abundant. There were always cups of strong wine, stronger than he ever had at home, being passed around. Too much wine. He spent most of his time moderately drunk, having ten to twenty glasses of it daily.

There was enough vice they used, too. This splendid white powder which seemed to only have an effect when put into the blood stream. His arm would be cut open, wide enough to bleed upon the floor, then a generous amount of the bright white powder would be packed into his wound. Finally, the wound would be sealed shut with healing magic. The powder took away all physical sensation for a span of eight to ten hours. Within that time period, he would feel neither pleasure nor pain. There were some maiar who would not treat him with gentleness. They would grab him, throw him against the floor, and take him with such ferociousness that he would bleed. These occurrences were not preventable, but, with the aid of that white powder, they were endurable. He didn’t mind what was done to him, as long as the pain was minimized. He found that the powder, when taken orally, had somewhat of a different effect. It would numb his mind instead of his body, make him relaxed enough to not care what happened, and for that he was thankful.

Feanor was right when he said he would be provided with quality housing. The provided housing for each of the elves in his position was an assigned bunk in a large boarding room. But the truth of his situation was that in which he rarely spent any time there, rather, he nightly found himself in the bed of a different maia. Their rooms were splendid, filled with riches beyond even that of his father, with beds twice as long as he was tall. He loved these rooms, loved lying there, looking around, observing, taking in every ornate detail.

Tonight, he was with a maia he knew not the name of but mentally called, _luine,_ or “blue,” after his dark-blue hair. Luine was a kind man, and one he frequently found himself in the chambers of. Feanor was right that Maedhros would work his way to the top ranks in this position, due to his royalty and his beauty. Due to this, he was rarely available, and maiar would occasionally fight over who got to spend time with him. In spite of this, Luine somehow managed to snag Maedhros for great periods of time. Luine enjoyed his body, but also seemed to enjoy his mind. They would retreat to his chambers and simply sit there, talking, sharing bottles of wine. Luine was a maia of Manwe, and had no particular healing skills, but did his best to mend any hurts that Maedhros had acquired throughout the day. He would draw ice from the air with a wave of his hand, and apply it to any fresh bruises.

One thing Maedhros particularly enjoyed about his time with Luine was the lack of intimate relations. Maedhros’s official job was to provide an outlet for the _fana_ , or body, of a maia. Luine sometimes requested this, and Maedhros in most cases would happily oblige. In some, however, if Maedhros found himself too tired from the day, or simply not in the mood, Luine would simply spend the night chatting with him or sleeping alongside him. Luine was one of the few that asked permission, and never yelled at Maedhros for wasting his time. For this, Maedhros was endlessly grateful, and cared deeply about Luine.

This night was one of those nights.

Luine paged through a book, some illustrated saga concerning a hunt. Maedhros moved over in bed to be right next to him and rested his head upon his chest.

Luine put down the book. “Feeling cuddly, are you?”

Maedhros shrugged.

“What’s on your mind, Maitimo?” Luine stroked his fingers gently through Maedhros’s hair.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away. We’ve a few more hours until I have to return you.”

“Do you love me?”

“Why, whatever do you mean by that?”

“I wanted to know why you spend so much time with me. You’re always first in line to borrow me for the night, then sometimes proceed to do nothing with me. Why do you fight for my time if you do nothing with it?”

“What do you mean do nothing with it? I like spending time with you.”

“But why? No one else is content to simply lie next to me in bed. That’s not my job. You _know_ that’s not my job. You know usually more is expected of me. I don’t understand. What do you get out of just being next to me? Even if I’m asleep, you do nothing with me.”

“I get plenty out of spending time with you. You’ve got a great little mind in that head of yours. I like to hear you talk. I won’t like, I quite enjoy your body, but if you’re not in the mood for such activities, there’s not a chance in the world I could enjoy it then. How could I be happy if the elf I’m with is miserable?”

“No one else seems to care about that.”

“I think that’s rather sick of them, don’t you? I care a lot about you, little Maitimo, and it pains me to see you upset. I would never purposefully upset you.”

“So,” Maedhros asked, “is it that you love me, then? That you put my perceived well-being above your desires? Are you trying to wed me?”

“I suppose you could say you’re correct, I do love you. I treasure you greatly. I look forward to your company after a hard day’s work.”

“That’s odd.”

“Why is that odd? You’re quite charismatic. You’re really wonderful to spend time with!”

Maedhros held back tears. “Are you sure?”

“Do you have any idea how much I pay to spend time with you? Of course I enjoy your presence. That’s a silly thing to ask.”

“You…pay?”

“Of course I pay. I have to put in a good bit of bribes in order to win the rights to you for the night. You’re very high in demand. It’s not a game of chance, who gets to spend the night with you. It’s whoever pays the most that night. Of course, _officially_ , all you elves are free, and that’s true for most of the elves, but the more popular ones have a bit more competition behind them. And I’m afraid you, dear, are quite popular.”

“Oh. I see.” Maedhros thought for a moment. “So are you trying to marry me or not?”

Luine laughed softly. “No, I’m afraid I’m not trying to marry you. I have no ulterior motives to spending time with you, I simply enjoy your company, as I’ve said. I’m already married, actually.”

“If you’re married, then where is your spouse? I spend all these days in your bed, and not once have I seen any sign of them.”

Luine’s face dropped. “She left, a while back. Around the time of the Great March of the Eldar. She went east, perhaps to meet them, I’m not sure. I do miss her greatly. She was a beautiful thing, with long black hair and a voice as clear as light itself. When she sang, nightingales would follow her! A maia of Vana and Este, she was.” He smiled again. “I barely deserved her!”

“When is she coming back?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know. I lost all connection with her a while back, shortly after she left. Almost as if she died, or if she left me entirely.”

“Left you?”

“ _Something_ severed our connection. She’s gone from me. One day, I hope to see her again.”

“Do you have any children?”

“So many questions tonight, Maitimo, so many questions”

“I’m sorry. I barely know anything about you.”

“I don’t think it’s fitting for me to share every detail about my life. I don’t know every detail about yours, either, and that’s the way, I think, things should stay. People already accuse me of fancying you, I think it would be best not to get further entangled.”

“Can I ask what your job is, that you get enough money to, uh, rent me?”

“Sure, why not. I deal with economic balancing and trade regulation.”

“Oh. Can I ask you a favor, then? Or, perhaps, I suppose, not a favor, but more of a suggestion?”

“I don’t do favors, but I’m willing to hear out a suggestion.” Luine smiled.

“I’ve noticed that very few of the maiar wear silver jewelry. My father told me this was because of the high price of silver.”

“You would be correct. The price of silver is high.”

“It’s higher than gold, is it not? I remember the days in which that was reversed.”

“You are correct again, for most of the time, gold was the more expensive of the two.”

“I believe this is due to a silver monopoly, owned by an elf Teleptwe and his daughter Haldalisse. I believe it would in the interest of both craftsmen and customers alike to disrupt their monopoly and restore the affordability of silver.”

Luine thought for a moment. “You’re quite articulate, little elf.”

“Thank you.”

“So, you ask that I disrupt their business?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll look into that. You are right that restoring silver’s place in the market would be beneficial. I had not given much mind to their sway over it.”

“Thank you.” Maedhros leaned over and placed a kiss upon Luine’s cheek.


End file.
